songs for the moment :)

my VTO for Feb 7-8 are scrapped..bleh!

my high school friend Kat asked me to host her wedding on march 23rd of this year. i said yes. :)

i texted ex so i can get my money back. nagreply naman.

here are my fave songs as of the moment:


Tattoo..Jordin Sparks

Oooh... Oooh... Ohhh..
No matter what you say about love,
I keep coming back for more,
My head in the fire,
Sooner or later,
I get what i'm asking for
No matter what you say about life,
I learn every time I bleed.
The truth is a stranger
My soul is in danger,
I gotta let my spirit be free to,

Admit that I'm wrong and then change my mind.
Sorry but I have to move on and leave you behind.

I can't waste time so give me the moment
I realize nothing's broken
No need to worry about everything I've done
Lived every second like it was my last one
Don't look back got a new direction
Loved you once, needed protection.
You're still a part of everything I do,
you're on my heart just like a tattoo,
Just like a tattoo,
I'll always have you.

I'm sick of playing all of these games
It's not about taking sides.
When I look in the mirror, Didn't deliver
It hurt enough to think that I could stop

Admit that I'm wrong and then change my mind.
Sorry but I gotta be strong and leave you behind

If I live every moment
Won't change any moment
Still a part of me and you.
I will never regret you
Still the memory of you


Too Little, Too Late..JoJo

[Verse 1:]Come with me Stay the night
You say the words but boy it don't feel right
What do ya expect me to say (You know it's just too little too late)
You take my hand And you say you've changed
But boy you know your begging don't fool me
Because to you it's just a game (You know it's just too little too late)

So let me on down 'Cause time has made me strong
I'm starting to move on I'm gonna say this now
Your chance has come and gone And you know...

[Chorus:]It's just too little too late a little too wrong
And I can't wait
But you know all the right things to say
(You know it's just too little too late)
You say you dream of my face
But you don't like me
You just like the chase
To be realIt doesn't matter anyway (You know it's just too little too late)
Yeah yeaaahhh... It's just too little too late... Mhmmm

[Verse 2:]I was young And in love
I gave you everything But it wasn't enough
And now you wanna communicate
(You know it's just too little too late)

Go find someone else In letting you go
I'm loving myself
You got a problem
But don't come asking me for help'
Cause you know...

[Bridge]I can love with all of my heart,
babyI know I have so much to give
(I have so much to give)
With a player like you I don't have a prayer
That's no way to live
Ohhhh... mmm nooo
It's just too little too late
Yeaahhhh...

Bubbly..Colbie Caillat
I've been awake for a while now
You've got me feelin' like a child now
'Cause every time I see your bubbly
I get the tingles in a silly place

And it starts in my toes And I crinkle my nose
Wherever it goesI always know
That you make me smile Please stay for a while now
Just take your time Wherever you go

The rain is falling on my window pane
But we are hiding in a safer place
Under covers staying dry and warm
You give me feelings that I adore

And it starts in my toes Makes me crinkle my nose
Wherever it goesI always know
That you make me smile Please stay for a while now
Just take your time Wherever you go

What am I gonna say
When you make me feel this way
I just mmmmm

I've been asleep for a while now
You tuck me in just like a child now
'Cause every time you hold me in your arms
I'm comfortable enough to feel your warmth

And it starts in my soul And I lose all control
When you kiss my nose The feeling shows
'cause you make me smile baby
Just take your time now Holdin' me tight
Wherever wherever wherever you go
Wherever wherever wherever you go
wherever you go
I always know
'Cause you make me smile
Even just for a while


Apologize..OneRepublic
'I'm holding on your rope, Got me ten feet off the ground
I'm hearin what you say but I just can't make a sound
You tell me that you need me Then you go and cut me down,
but waitYou tell me that you're sorry
Didn't think I'd turn around, and say...

It's too late to apologize, it's too late
I said it's too late to apologize, it's too late

I'd take another chance, take a fall Take a shot for you
And I need you like a heart needs a beat
But it's nothin new
I loved you with a fire red-Now it's turning blue,
and you say..."Sorry" like the angel heaven let me think was you
But I'm afraid...

It's too late to apologize, it's too late
I said it's too late to apologize, it's too late
Bridge (guitar/piano)
It's too late to apologize, it's too late
I said it's too late to apologize, it's too late It's too late to apologize,
yeahI said it's too late to apologize,
yeah-I'm holdin on your rope, got me ten feet off the ground..

i will edit these tomorrow night.. :)

exes baggage

the other night, i was online and happened to talk to ringo. which was fine. it's nice that we're friends and can still keep in touch with each other. we didnt really have a bad break up so everything's cool. dont you think it's better if exes can be good friends? i know it depends on the break up, but sometimes, cant help but think of those intimate moments where all was ok and everthing was sunny. cheese!!!!!

another ex that im good friends with would be justin, my first, though i dont have contact with him this time. we see each other and hang out when he's in manila. we joke around a lot, like we didnt have any past, and stroll around divi holding hands. hahahha.

with my most recent ex though, it might take a while before i could be comfy speaking with him again. he left me high and dry so of course, adjustments should be expected.

======================================

im happy because i suggested a template for QA reports, and my beautiful QA Badet said it was ok.. compliment na rin yun for me, kahit na wag nila gamitin.. hehehehe..

i am ranked 19th. hehehe. i still want to transfer to Travelport though. my crush Aaron is there. i already got my IJAF, i just need my evals. Noy might transfer to ACS too. that's good news! :)

we had training for status codes. pfft.

i just had lunch with my crushie. :)

boring

this day is so boring. i woke up at 745pm and dragged myself to work. my fan's almost inoperable. it's so hot outside. it's friggin warm at the office. calls are coming in droves. pfft!!

last night i spent a lot of time grabbing pics from my friends. Marina might lend me money so i could go to Galera. (note to self: get money from ex) but i dont think we'll push thru.

i just got a commendation. :)

siesta on a fiesta

it's fiesta day today for our street, and because i went home around 8am already, i slept the whole afternoon. and because of the noise the bingo players created, i woke up around 4pm. syempre, naawa ako kay ate angie coz i had to leave her so i can meet peter, hence, i decided to take her to sm manila and treat her to takoyaki and starbucks. takoyaki are commonly called samurai balls, and i dont know what theyre made of, but way back in the 90s, me, ate angie, ate edelle would eat those a lot. you could only find it at sm malls. i didnt like it at first, coz it doesnt smell that good, but i grew up liking it. :)

nothing else exciting, except we were almost complete this time. hehehe. kumpleto nga lasing naman sila. hehehehe. ang saya. we are the ones drinking with the older family. and the ladies are keeping up with the Joneses. :)

i've been to palawan

yes, it's been years ago since i was in that beautiful island. this was in high school for a summer camp i attended, and we were lucky enough to be given discounts to the spots there. we went to the underground river, tabon caves, etc.. and met the mayor's wife (i forgot her name :) ).



last night though, i went back to Palawan, but not the island. it's Palawan 2 in Cubao. i dont understand how i let go of my fear in going to Cubao (Cromwell's always at Gateway. pfft.), but last night, i braved the path to Cubao. argh.



segue. before Palawan, i was up all afternoon, with jologs sounds blaring from my neighbor's radio. argh! i asked Cromwell to accompany me in watching PS I Love You (a very nice read), but we ended up going to SM San Lazaro and buying stuff. he gave me details of his new sitch. okay naman. then he made me hatid to our house, para we can talk more. he couldnt wait for Peter so he went home agad.



and then, since the Ms Gay was boring, Peter asked me to wear shoes and go to Palawan.



it's not so comfy.. though the talents are great. i absolutely love the Beyonce impersonator, Mamu. he/she knew all the moves Beyonce did for her Crazy in Love performance. worthy of a standing ovation. i left even before the dancing started. i saw mam ernest there too. wearing his maharot shirt. he tried to ask about me and ex, but i didnt explain myself. i didnt wanna ruin the night by venting. heheh.

on the way home, i bought food supposedly for ate angie, but she slept somewhere else. :) i ate the food. hehe. then Peter followed me so he could get his phone. we stayed in my room for a while, then he texted people from this chatv room. we didnt get to meet anyone though, so we opted to go eat at mcdo pcampa. i was supposed to just stay at pcampa to surf the net, but we left his yosi at home, so we had to get it pa. pfft.

(singit: songs that i would love to have on my fakePOD: apologize-one republic, bubbly-colbie caillat)

when i got here, some guy hugged me and kissed my back. argh!

i got home around 830am then slept. wahaha.

back to the old grind

now that im single again, i may have to go back to my single secret behaviors. hehehe. last night, when i was on leave, i updated my friendster and guys4men, changed my status, and that's a start. hooking up with another guy is a sign of me moving on as well. he hasnt contacted me yet so i believe we're really done. on Saturday, i have two options: watch PS I Love You alone, or Ms Gay in our street. i might go online after that too. i hafta meet other people. on Sunday, if i can, i might apply for a line. Globe siguro. i hafta change my TV as well, so instead of buying a phone, id apply for a line to get a free phone. i have my expenses to my self again so i can have a better budget.

i might not go to Galera, i didnt earn that much this pay out..

i was pooing earlier, and i felt a bump in my thing.. im scared, it doesnt hurt, but the feeling is different..i hafta go see a doctor..

im gaining weight again!! argh!!

im confused if i should still stay in this company, but i need money!

im eating spag in my station. :)

girl, singled

that's how olive and i describe ourselves nowadays.. singled. we were supposed to meet last night since i am on leave, but i woke up too late. hehehe. im back to the dating arena, so now i really have to lose weight. :) kinda difficult adjustments, but it's ok. hehehehe.

im going to copy my entries here and post it in my friendster account.

im here at a kinda new net caf just in front of mcdo P.Campa. im a member already. :)

heath ledger is dead

heath ledger died yesterday. according to TV Patrol...World! (sorry, i just had to say that), he was found naked with a bottle of sleeping pills on his side.. it's quite sad.. just a few days ago i saw a picture of him in Joker get up for the Dark Knight movie.. ive only seen a few of his movies, like 10 Things.. and Brokeback Mountain, i dont like him that much, but it's a tragic thing to happen.. makes me wonder if fame has got to do something with this..

you know what theyre doing here right now? when your call reaches 7 minutes, they will announce your name thru speaker fone. which is acceptable if the software they use is so efficient and fast. it's so annoying!!!

my bowel movement is so weird. for how many weeks already, ive been poo-ing at least thrice a day. when i wake up, at the office, and when i get home. that's why i dont stay at the office that much anymore..

later tonight, im on leave, ill be going to Starbs Katips with Olive to boywatch. hehehe. havent been to that place in months. we'll be there just to wait for Francis Paraan. hahaha.

im in search for a new church to go to. sto domingo is kinda far, quiapo is always full, i cant go to Holy Trinity and Fatima, go figure. hahahaha.

a few hours ago, we saw three cute guys from accenture applying for a job here. i hope they get accepted. we definitely need inspiration here in the office. :)

my Galera plans are broken!! i have work on Feb1 so ill just follow them on Saturday morning..huhuhu..

Carlo, my october2006, who i had sex with when we were still in Tindalo in Pilar, is texting me right now. i dont know what he wants, wala siguro magawa. but if he wants to do it, id gladly oblige. :)

im kind of scared that Jigs might show my video to his friends. argh.

foodles

the only piece of jewelry im wearing right now is my JC ring. i already forgot where i got it, what i can only remember is that ny mom gave it to me. i asked my tita CY about it but she doesnt know its origin either. i think it's a sort of love ring my mom and dad has. hahaha. what a funny thought. it's like silver, but it's not. it's not even white gold. the JC looks like it has diamonds but it's just well-sculpted to look as though it has diamonds in it. it's like a Carrie bracelet. id be sad if i lost it.

anyway, i was awakened earlier by my friend Cromwell's messages. he has been having problems with his constant date. which is sad, coz i know he likes the guy so much. cant be of much help though. im still in the process of forgetting my ex. sometimes all advice that i could tell him are so generic. hehe.

i hope it's Saturday already. i miss my junk fast food! hehehe. im gaining all the weight i lost, but who cares? im happy eating fries, spag and burger every weekend.

anyway, i hafta log on to guys4men, havent visited my account in weeks. and i have to meet new boys. hehehe. detox from a very exhausting 4 months. :)

out of all the things i plan to do this year, i havent done anything so far.

i just got good news. i won't have work on the ff dates: Jan 24 & 31, Feb 1, 7 and 8. im so happy!! :)

anyway, i have a new hang out, it's no better than my sanctuary but it will suffice. SM Manila's super cramped Starbucks. :)

i think i can go to Galera this start of Feb. :) but im afraid i wont have the money.. :(

i dont wanna go to the technical dept.. argh..

i didnt buy chicharon today. ill just let others buy this time. hehehe.

sex, lies and videos

for the first time in months, i met a guy for an eyeball. eeee. hehehe. he was referred to me by a friend, thru business card, and he was nice enough to reply agad. he was goodlooking and so discreet, he lives in an apartment near my place, just a trike away. anyway, i was nervous coz i havent done this for months. i met Mon (w/ the girlfriend) around start of September 2007 and we did it twice before i met Emon (the ex) so i could say that it's been a long time.

speaking of the ex, one of his friends told me that there are times that he would tell his friends to tell me he was sleeping just in case i asked. which is absurd, because that's what he was angry about, me asking his friends where he was. and i just realized the one lie i let pass before. he said he went to the gym with his childhood buddies before we watched beowulf. after their choir practice, we drank with his childhood buddies and one mentioned "he couldve gone with them to the gym because of a funky smelling person working out." argh.

anyway, back to Jigs, we made a video and took pics while i was working him. hahaha. i remember the vid i did with Ringo that he deleted. i just hope it doesnt circulate though, ill be embarrassed. totally. i was good though, i think. i loived the finale. hehe.

Sunday morning, i met up with Peter and his EB and had early brekkie at BK. nothing much. cute, but not so even teeth.

Saturday night, i was with Bry and Olive, girls' night out, no boys allowed. hehe. everything feels different. Bry wants to work in a call center. i warned her about Eper, though. we all agreed that this year should be about traveling. which is one of my goals for this year.

i asked one of our sups to file VTOs for me for the Thurs and Fris til Feb 8. hehehe. more more rest for me if a lot are approved. i hope so.

i just spoke with my new crush. omg. hehehe. he's like a more rugged Jericho Rosales. with piercing eyes. and a manly complexion. argh.

i will be moved to the technical dept, but i heard that i wont push thru. hehehe. thank God!

moodles

it's the start of my day and i'm dizzy. ferk, i must be pregnant.

i just saw a picture of Paulo. hahaha. he's still cute as hell. argh.

tomorrow ill be having dinner with Bry and Olive. Olive isnt replying, ive been texting her all day. about Bry though, it felt kinda awkward when she asked me if she can tag her boyps along.. i know i havent met the guy, and as a girl friend, i should have met him a long time ago, but the timing's bad.. Olive and i recently got "singled" so i told her i wasnt sure if it's okay.. good thing she understood, or else ill just ignore the guy the whole night. wahaha.

i realized i havent been wearing my glasses. maybe that's why im dizzy. hmmm. i was sincerely hoping i was pregnant. pfft.

the dizziness is gone. i should wear my glasses a lot again. pfft.

i need a lot of money. aside from my bet with cromwell, my HS BFFs want to go to Hong Kong towards the end of the year. with my measly salary, good luck. i wasnt able to go with them to Sagada, so i missed out on one trip already. this year should be my travel year. ill file for leaves as much as i can so ill be able to go around. manila is becoming boring for me already. i need fresh air.

someone lost a fone here at work yesterday.. weird.. i dont mind losing mine since it's old, but then i have a lot of pictures and songs here. id be mad if i was the one who lost mine. and id hate the person who will take it, forever!

i wonder if i have time to post here what's on my fakePOD. hehehe.

it's a slow day at work. not much calls. i hope the whole shift will have this volume only. i cant wait to take my offs tomorrow. aside from my dinner with my girls, Sunday night is take out night. :) until my TV is replaced, id have to make do with HBO every Sunday. which reminds me, i have to put TV on my list of things to buy. pfft.

if i dont have anything to do on Sunday early evening, id run to SM Manila and buy a new plastic closet/dresser. my clothes smell bad because i dont have anything to store them in. good thing i dont smoke anymore.


anyway, ill take a few months off from boys. no dates or one night stands muna. if someone comes along, good. but i dont think a relationship would be recommended, depending on the guy of course. right now i want someone who will take care of me. not the other way around. hehehe.

i hate to admit this, but i dont like going out that much anymore. im happy just staying at home, ordering food and watching tv. i think im getting old.

i didnt go to Church last week. i feel so guilty.

noodles

i had a very weird dream this afternoon. there was a huge tiger running around our street and ended up going after me and my niece. however, when it was able to corner us in our neighbor's washroom, it suddenly became too small that my niece and i were able to kill it by hitting its head with baby milk cans. hahahah. what's weirder is, i was awakened by a tap on my shoulder. freaky. i have a friendly alarm clock waking me up.

my friend bought an Asus notebook. it's like a small laptop, cute and very handy. there's not so much application to it, but having one would definitely give me that carrie bradshaw feel. it's a must-have for me, because i can have more time blogging and writing away. even if i dont upload that much to it, it's convenient for surfing the net and blogging. argh. i want one!!!

my N6230i is more than 2 years old already. for someone who used to be phone-savvy, i am very proud that despite not having the vibra-mode and speaker anymore, i was able to use this phone for a long time. i have plans of replacing it already, but due to financial constraints, i might buy a new phone sa summer pa.

American Idol is back! hehehehe. i didnt watch today, because of the weird dreams i had. i cant say i have favorites already, since they havent gone to Hollywood yet. there was this aspirant whose husband watched her audition, and he was so hot! according to the wife, he's a model. and he is good looking! hehehehe. id vote for him in a heartbeat. bleh.

i had breakfast with Laine and Arville this morning. we ate at our McDo spot in Valero. we were just catching up on each other's lives, which was fun, until i felt something crawling on my leg. it was a cockroach that went up to my lower ass area. it really ruined a good morning.

i havent been checking my friendster for a while now. im stilltrying to get back all the friends that i lost because of the asshole who hacked into my old account. freak.

no whines about lovelife today. improvement!

i seconds away from going back to work from my first break. pfft.

caboodles

a few hours ago, i was overbreak for 45 seconds, which is my fault because i agreed to accompany my friend at 7-11 to grab some grub. thanks to the slow counter people, i now have an OB mark in my attendance, and it sucks. i may be absent at times, but i never was on OB. grrr.

work-wise, i have this almost-concrete fear that we might be transferring to a new site. all my closest friends are here in RCBC Plaza and the thought of leaving this building again makes me sad. argh.

i'm happy that i can blog away here at work. no conflict. hahahaha!

i touched my crush's arm today. kilig. :)

last night, i was enjoying Pokemon, because for some reason, the battles are becoming fierce and im seeing the active side of those cute, little monsters. i really, really love Pokemon.

oh, the Spice Girls will be releasing their 4th studio album and im excited!!

i havent gotten my Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows yet. i might get my reserved book on the Feb 10 pay out. at last.

i need a lot of money. i made a bet with Cromwell that if his torso looks good by the end of summer, i have to treat him to Galera. argh.

i want to travel a lot this year, not limiting myself to Galera though.

i have a song for the week, Bubbly by Colbie Caillat. it's such a breezy song that's best listened to on long drives. i always try to watch it on mtv, but i always catch the last few seconds of it. i love the part "what am i gonna say, when you make me feel this way.." i may not be in love right now, but listening to it evokes that feeling of kilig at times. when i first understood part of the lyrics, i immediately wrote Placebo, the latest among my works. ill post it here when i have the copy.

i havent been writing anything at my planner. pfft. ill try to make it my journal, so the purpose wont be defeated. hehe.

toodles

it's only my second day back at work and im so elated. my hugest crush aaron passed by, and this is the first time ive seen him not wearing a jacket or anything long-sleeved, and i soo love his arms.

im eating puto here at work right now. it's the kind of rice cake that tastes better when it's warm and has pure unadulterated margarine on the side. hehehe. i miss the barrios. i miss the road trips me and my college friends go to. i miss the simplicity of waking up in the morning after a very restful night. coffee and newspaper combo would do. i miss the clean breeze that feels so welcoming to the lungs.

segue, i quit smoking already. no withdrawals yet, but it sure feels lighter for my pocket. :)

someone just sold me macaroni with bolognese sauce. argh. i think im gaining back all the weight that i lost last week. pfft. i sure want to look thinner. i wanna lose weight and feel better about myself.

next month ill try to enrol at Instituto again. so i can set aside time and money for my studies. if i have extra, id devote time to the gym, or just buy my own treadmill.

i want to do a lot of things. ever since i had time for myself ive been thinking of productive stuff to do. it helps that i have blogs so i can exercise my gone-bad writing skills. hehehe. i still want to get published.

i recently finished reading "stainless longganisa" by my favorite author Bob Ong. like the Valkyries, i was disappointed. it was another self-indulgent book i couldnt get anything out of. imagine what Jenny from the Block did for J.Lo. nothing. it's depressing coz it has elements of the first two books that i adored, but fell flat towards the end. kudos trying to bring up the problems we have with publishing houses, but all was lost once i put the book down. it's not stainless longganisa, it's undercooked longganisa.

i learned that it is hard just to get published, all the more for a poet like me. it would be difficult to find willing readers with the mush that i create..

after a very long time, kinikilig ako. wala. singit lang. :)

doodles

im currently at work. just came back from a very looong absence. i just had the workst case of influenza/tonsilitis in my whole life. i couldnt eat, couldnt stand up, couldnt sleep well, etc. sometimes i lay at night just staring into nothingness and blaming God for not allowing me to sleep and escape the hell i was in.

im currently single. my partner asked for a two-week space from each other, or a "break" that i don't really believe in. you know what's sad? i tried texting him the very first night i wasnt feeling well, and he shrugged me off. with his insistence of having our separate time, he forgot i may have needed him for something else, and im so disappointed.

i quit smoking already. it's something that i do to relieve stress, but now it's the source of all my problems. i was almost hospitalized because of smoking and im more than willing to stop the habit now. or never.