my 2bU! audition entry

He stares in the mirror with intense focus. It’s as if he had been face to face with the Gorgon Medusa, almost unmoving, only able to move his eyes from time to time. He can see every curve, line and shadow present in front of him. At times, deep breaths followed by sighs will be heard, along with the babbles of the whiny deejay trying to be cute with jokes and faint steps from the room above his. Summertime has come, and although the sun is now sleeping, the dampness of the air is still manifested by droplets of saline lining his cheeks.

His room is in order, though not necessarily clean. On one part of his wall, his message board, is a post-it with words “35 more days to go! Happy 19^th!” Heck, he’ll be on his last teenage year. And the pressure of graduation and independence will come. His dad called from the States just two days ago, asking about a lot of stuff, same shit. He just wishes he were with his mom in Germany, far from his dad’s contact. But he knows he won’t. He won’t leave his grandfather, not at the moment, when they’re still mourning because of his lola’s passing away. Besides, he’ll miss a lot of things about this home.

Attached on the opposite wall is the 2bu! Special “365 ways to be (totally, totally) you in 2003.” He had highlighted his favorite entries, things he have and haven’t done, like writing poetry and wearing thongs. The advertisements were covered with Christmas gift wrapper. On the wrappers he put: 1. movie premiere tickets of 8 Mile and Red Dragon he won from RX 93.1, his favorite radio station 2. tickets for Stephen Speaks’ concert at ADMU 3. a receipt from Starbucks Baguio, since Baguio is his favorite city and he loves mocha frappe so much. There’s still so much space left for other memorabilia.

Posted around the other walls and ceiling are a poster of Janet Jackson in a bikini, a Polaroid photo from their block X’mas dinner (M4, chem. Block, University of the Philippines-Diliman), a 500-piece glow in the dark jigsaw puzzle of Artemis with the moon, glow in the dark stars and moons, an American Pie 2 poster, an essay about him written by an applicant of their org (UP Pre-Medical Society) during Master-Slave Week, pictures from Charmed and Dawson’s Creek soundtrack, among others.

He left his drawer open, showing his shirts and other clothing, mostly blue. At the bottom is his traveling bag he uses during road trips to provinces with UPPMS. His bed is a bit messy, because he tried to sleep earlier; and on it is his latest issue of Chalk Magazine. At the table beside him lay the books he read just last Holy Week: Dear Abby, To Be Free, The Praying Man, E. Hamilton’s Mythology, Tuesdays with Morrie, The Alchemist and his Psych book.

Suddenly, a noisy motorcycle sped by the street. He was distracted. He had been trying to mentally speak to himself. About his problems with shifting and his dad, what their org would do with only 25 members, when would he clean his room, thinking about getting a job, how dark he became because of swimming, wondering how it feels to become a deejay, what to buy for his friend’s 22^nd birthday, how much would an ice cream party for his friends cost him, how funny Anger Management was, how much calories were in his sinangag with hotdogs-eggs-oyster sauce.

He then hears Unwell, and almost bursts into tears. He’s still confused. Why in the world did bisexuality become a fact of life? He’s been interested with a certain Paulo Vinluan for a while now. He even has a picture of Paulo in his mirror, taken during Valentine’s Week by an org offering a “Crush mo Picture ko” project. He’s not even sure if Paulo can recognize him (they were Philo I classmates). He’s turned crazy he posted his poems for Paulo in school for everyone to see. And then he noticed he’s been in front of the mirror for quite some time. His incense stick has been used up. He decides he’d shower first, then sleep in his favorite position, where the moon sheds light all over his naked body. Surely, he thinks, tomorrow would be another nice day for me.

And that boy… is me.

Hi! I’m so sorry because I haven’t written in prose since high school, and my copies of our high school newspaper here at home were attacked by anay, so I made my introduction my article. Hope you guys will like it.

Anyway, for particulars:

John Claude Pagdanganan May 27, 1984 18 years young 09162623928 University of the Philippines-Diliman College of Science-Nonmajor likes a lot of things wrote for schoolpapers in high school and elementary just ask me questions na lang.

Hehe.

Gotta turn the computer off.

God bless you people.