the past few days have been one helluva roller coaster ride. xmas day saw me spending it with fudge. some of our friends weren't around. before xmas, i was actually brave enough to join our batch's xmas party at thor's. gosh, i swear, it was very difficult dealing with the jests. pero what can i do? one more thing, i met this guy, whom i like though he isnt chinito. we were to meet at xmas midnight, and then his buddy texted me telling me that they were in bed together. haha. spare me the details. hahah. im supposed to be bitter but im thru being 1. congratulate me. woke up at 3pm on xmas day. went to my tita's house and gave them my gifts. hehehe. nighttime, i went to M's house. i thought it was just me, him and J, his lover. but much to my surprise, around 5 other people were there. they are the people like me. haha. they were cute guys with super nice arms and everything in between (legs!). even M was there. oh my God. that night was crazy. watched a video with J and drank tequilla with them. we went to Bed in malate. omg, these people i was with were literally kissing each other (smack) and speaking the gay-est language i could hear. and they all look like men!!! darn. theyve known each other for a while. even M. all night, i learned things i never knew about him. he even kissed me! he even told me a secret he thought i wasnt supposed to know but then he doesnt know i know it na. whew! hirap nun ah! he was totally a different person. even M and J. well, that was my first girls' night out. hahahaha! bed wasnt what i thought it could be. haaay.

dce26- went home early afternoon na. got news that my lolo was in an accident. i was so worried. now he has to undergo operation. and im fearing if he becomes like nanay when she died, it would make me go crazy. i love him so much. he myt be strong physically, but then i know what he feels when we assist him when he has to pee, or help him to eat. it's so disheartening. tomorrow i might drop by the hospital again. hmm. may cute doctor pero i just want to help tatay out. i realized that for the first time, i was actually craving for a family to raise. darn it. and it was my first time to assist someone to pee. weird feeling. one funny moment: when he said he wanted to pee, i went to the bathroom to kunwari wash my hands, tita bebot looked away and kuya O was the only one left to do the job. hahahaha! anyway, tomorrow would be more fun, i guess, though i dont really like hospitals. darn it.