flowerless.. powerless..

on my way to work, i saw a very cute guy on the jeep in front of the fx i was in. as usual, my eyes were trying to shift from left to right, as if i was looking around, but always staying a few more seconds in his direction. when our fx started to leave, i saw a better view of him, and i was aghast at what i found. on his lap was a bouquet of flowers, obviously for someone..

ive always dreamt of receiving flowers from someone i really like. in college, during master slave week, i asked my crush, as an utos, to surprise me with flowers. he gave me malaysian mums, which i kept for a while, but had to throw them because they were dirty.

when i was still at info, a friend of mine who used to court me gave me SUNFLOWERS. i would have kissed him, but i didnt like him that way. he was just a friend.

with my last relationship, i sent him flowers when he was sick, but i dont think he appreciated it because he didnt even keep a single petal. no deal.

i love flowers. on sunday night, i was with er and inay sonia at dangwa, and i was surrounded by amazingly beautiful flowers. i had the urge to buy, but i didnt want to make myself feel more pathetic.

i want flowers. flowers from someone who is special to me. ever since the moment i saw the flowers on that guy's lap, ive lost all the energy i was hoping to bring to work. i suddenly felt sad. so sad.

it's february 11th, days before valentine's day. i had different plans for this day, but now, id spend it working on a shitty day.

i need flowers. just so i can smile.