hmm...where do i start? im a bit sad coz my mom's going thru another divorce again, and she doesnt have work so i have to continue working and finish my contract at info. i know im not enjoying my job too much at the moment but im starting to get the feeling of appreciation ever since *bleep* came into my life. hmmm.. i like him na before pa. he was one of my crushes sa floor. and then one time he texted me. i was surprised and pleased at the same time. and im enjoying his company. though patago kami magkita. condo lang. or greenhills. i dont know. there always has to be something, not that im complaining, coz i like him more evrytime we see each other. nakakainis lang na we have to do everything discreetly. i dont wanna risk exposing him naman. i know he has his reasons. nagkataon lang siguro na i am different from him. coz i am open to everyone na, well, except for my dad's side of the family. he isnt the perfect guy for me, not the one i have set in my mind, pero im not saying din naman na im going out with him since he's kinda mr. right NOW. i find it amazing that the guy i like likes me back, and made the first move. he's someone i can see myself with for a long time, pero of course i wont tell him this since baka ma-paranoid yun, and i dont wanna seem too clingy. i dont want to scare him away. we're still starting, investing. nothing's official. nakakapraning pero i have to deal with it. ayoko syang tanungin coz he might see what we're doing in a different way. i dont wanna seem too eager beaver, or atat. one more thing...there's this guy, from my circle of friends... gwapo, smart, mabait... hmm.. how should i say this... he told me he loved me before, and sort of took it back coz he was still coping from a heartbreak i dont know the full details of. confused pa raw sya, basta. i was always texting him, asking how he's doing, or when im around UP lang when i miss school, i tell him im there. pero mailap sya. he's darn evasive and elusive. recently, when *bleep!* and i started to go out na, he was asking if we could be... together? and i was shocked. it was so sudden. and wrong timing. parang i was sanay na na we're just friends when we talk, no strings attached and then he asked me that question. of course i thought he was just joking, pero he's not pala. i kept the thing between me and *bleep!* from him muna, kaso josh told him about it. from there, mas lalo sya naging mailap. and it's killing me na we cant even be as normal as before. i have no problems with the set up, but clearly he has. and when i want to see him, wala lang naman since we havent met in months. i just wanna keep in touch. kaso he thinks otherwise. it's like im fooling around lang. nakakainis. nakakairita. parang i feel tuloy na he sees me as a player. and i plan not to fool around. complicated kami, because he's making it complicated. it's not my fault anyway. pero he's really a great guy. anyone would love to have him around. unpredictable. nagkataon lang na... he's busy din with school. i never saw it coming. basta, i dont wanna be unfair and make him seem so walang kwenta. he has his moments. now i call him kuya.