i'm stuck

i'm still waiting for a new job offer. i'm hoping this will be better than the last. i don't want to be like other people who hop around jobs. if this next company is okay, i daresay i may stay with it longer than the last.

anyway, ive been back and forth InfoNXX trying to get my clearance. i went today and they told me i had to go back again on Friday because some boo-hoo cuckoo made an error in the calculation of my last pay. fart!!! i need that clearance for my job offer!!

ive been talking to my mom thru phone. same old same old. i havent found the house she's looking for though. (note to self: contact jesper ASAP!!)

Justin's here in Manila. and he hasnt replied yet. we're supposed to meet up today. grrr.. he was my first. it's just nice that we're still good friends. unlike others. there was a time that i saw the guy i dated after Jus at RPM and we completely ignored each other. hahaha.
my dating life is a bore. i met someone i had a huge crush on who later in life, just became a friend. i am now looking for guys he can date. the next one was like my partner for three days. after three days, he said he wasnt ready. before, i was wondering what the "It's Complicated" button in the Status part of the profile meant; now i know. i'm just taking it in stride. if he wants a relationship in the future, fine. but i wouldnt exactly treat him the way i would treat someone i'm committed to. he's new to this ballgame. compared to him, i'm already 28. he's like a 6-year old left at the alleys of toy kingdom. i like him a lot, but no commitment still means no commitment. i don't blame him in any way.

weeks ago, i sort of "went out on a date" with someone i really really liked before. we didnt see each other for years, and it's amazing that we had contact all this time. he was the one i said no to when i started dating that beachboy person from Info. have you ever had that moment when everything stops, not because of something spectacular, but because you want to hit your head on the spot and an audience won't help at all? of all the wrong choices i had, saying no to him ranks 4th out of a million. there was one convo we had where he said, if we became an item years ago, we'd still be together today. *hand shaped like a gun pointing at my temple* i was sick the day we met, and he treated me to a slice of mango cake.. :) then we went around shopping for his clothes. i was so uncomfy looking at him try on stuff. we had half the day to ourselves (blowing off my bestfriend. sorry..) and ended up watching fantastic four. i cant exactly say what i feel for him right now.. though i want to be in a relationship, im not sure if he does, or he still wants me. there are moments when i want to go back and change everything. i traded him for someone who left me high and dry. aaarrrgh!!!

i am so addicted to Grey's Anatomy. Heroes is ok, though it's a bit ssslllloooooowww. hahaha. i think i need to take vitamins. ive been sickly for months already. i dont know what to say anymore.